texas birthday quotes

Raised on concrete.Doesnt know a bit from a butt.You dont live longer in the city; it just seems that way. Dumb as a box of rocks. Youll also want to use these fabulous Texas puns! Then when you think in years to come. One day, behind a general store in Central Texas, a firearms instructor in a wide-brimmed cowboy hat reached for the butt of his holster as I approached him for an interview. Beyonce's tracks like 'Baby Boy' and 'Crazy in Love' secured top positions in the 'Billboard Top 100' countdown charts. Fat as a boardinghouse cat.Fat as a town dog.Shes warm in winter, shady in summer.He dont care what you call him as long as you call him to supper.So big he looks like he ate his brother.So big he has to sit down in shifts.Big as Brewster County.Big as Dallas.Big as a Brahma bull.Shed rather shake than rattle.Hes big enough to bear hunt with a branch.Hes all spread out like a cold supper.Wide as two ax handles.Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. "Texas is a state of mind. Don't mess with Texas. And what could possibly be a better way to talk about this state than discussing its funny Texas sayings, quotes, expressions, and jokes? 29 Funny Birthday Quotes That Will Have You Laughing Out Loud I'm so glad you never act your agelet's have some fun tonight! 50+ Best 25th Birthday Quotes, Captions And Messages So crooked that if he swallowed a nail, hed spit up a corkscrew. Here you go! )Dont get all het up about it.Theres a big difference between the ox and the whiffletree.Theres no tree but bears some fruit.Skin your own buffalo.You better throw a sop to the dogs.Dont squat on your spurs.Any mules tail can catch cockleburs.A drought usually ends with a flood.If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.A lean dog runs fast.The apple doesnt fall far from the tree. In three days no one could stand him. If hes not, why embarrass him by asking? John Gunther. Most Texans know about the references to the Lone Star State size in Texas quotes and sayings. The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. If you grab enough Texas land, somethin' good is bound to happen. All joyous things and more. It was the home of Tejano patriot Jose Antonio Navarro, who was influential in the fight for Texas' independence. He was asked on his last birthday earlier this year his secret to longevity. 6. It's a better use of salt. 500 matching entries found. He blames everything on the weather or his raising.He got caught in his own loop.He came close to the dollar knife. I wish you a lovely day, not just today because it is your birthday, but all year round. "When I was young, the Dead Sea was still alive.". Happy Birthday to you. Happy birthday to someone who's wonderful in every way. Planning to Visit Texas? A smart ass just don't fit in a saddle. Sweet friend, may the joy you bring to others find you as you celebrate your birthday. knee walking drunk to tell your friends about that epic night of partying. A genuine authenticity comes to mindyall have such vibrant silly energy, the culture is rich and everyone from locals to Winter Texans always seems to be in good spirits. I can't believe it's already been a year since the last time I didn't buy you anything for your birthday. "The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been with." - Madeleine L'Engle. Texas is a cult. Lindsay Mcelwee, I Like The Image Texas Brings To Mindthat Of Bigness, Of Strength, Of Goodness. Ninfa Laurenzo, The enemy never sees the backs of my Texans! General Robert E. Lee, CSA, Texas history is a varied, tempestuous, and vast as the state itself. Still, we put together a good number of phrases and quotes about Texas for yall. 5. Inspirational Birthday Quotes There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. Even a blind hog can find an acorn once in a while.Anytime you happen to pass my house, Id sure appreciate it.What did you do with the money your mama gave you for singing lessons?Were you raised in a barn?Put that in your pipe and smoke it.Even the chickens under the porch know that.You smell like you want to be left alone.Go peddle your own produce.Go cork your pistol.If you break your leg, dont come running to me.Whatever greases your wagon. Levi's All Grown Up! Matthew McConaughey, Camila Alves Bring Son to Gala I feel lower than a gopher hole.I feel so low I couldnt jump off a dime.She eats sorrow by the spoonful.You look like you were sent for and couldnt go.Sad enough to bring a tear to a glass eye.He looks like the cheese fell off his cracker. - By Jim Bishop. -Molly Ivins, The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. -Senator William Blakley, Ill be somewhere down in Texas if youre lookin for me. "May you be gifted with life's biggest joys and never-ending bliss. Best birthday, cutie! You were too hard to raise to take chances.Dont dig up more snakes than you can kill.Whistle before you walk into a strangers camp.Dont plow too close to the cotton.A dead snake can still bite.A dead bee can still sting.Dont tip over the outhouse. To the best woman in the . The How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days star, 53, and . Lets shoot out the lights.Well paint the town and the front porch.Lets hallelujah the county.Put the little pot in the big pot.Throw your hat over the windmill.Ill be there with bells on.Ill wear my Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes.Hes all gussied up. Hell squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams. Above all, Texas is a nation in every sense of the word. Texas girls are a whole different breed. John Cusack, What you northerners never appreciate is that Texas is so big that you can live your life within its limits and never give a damn about what anyone in Boston or San Francisco thinks. James Michener, I like it here in Austin. Texas Birthday Quotes - ShortQuotes.cc 84 HILARIOUS Texas Jokes That Are Perfect For Cowboys Like You! hes cheap. One time she wrote about sports. -Larry McMurtry, This is Texas. Birthday Quotes Happy 28th Birthday Quotes & Funny Captions. In three days no one could stand him. Joseph Heller, If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell General Philip Henry Sheridan, The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that its impossible to be insane in Texas. Malcolm McDowell. -Texas Department of Transportation, If you grab enough Texas land, somethin good is bound to happen. If you use one on a website, please link to this post. Oprah Winfrey God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. They hung the wrong horse thief. for when something goes wrong. It ought to do so, for no country upon the globe can compare with it in natural advantages. -Sam Houston, A born Texan has instilled in his system a mindset of no retreat and no surrender. Texan til I die need no translation, right. They work to live there. Robert Rodriguez (this is one of our favorite Austin quotes! Ron Brackin, I didnt drive eleven hours across the state of Texas to watch my cholesterol. Cant dance, never could sing, and its too wet to plow.I could sit still for that.You cant beat that with a stick. It can be kind of a pain to find the major guidebooks once you land, or youll find them overpriced. Whether quotes about its wide, starry skies or sayings about its rough way of life, Texas has a way of staying on your mind. He wasnt born, just squeezed out of a bartenders rag.Drunker than who shot John.Snot-slinging drunk.Drunk as Cooter Brown.Drunk as a skunk.Dont chop any wood tonight; Daddys coming home with a load.Tighter than bark on a log.Ive got the whistlebelly thumps and skull cramps. In Texas, there is a certain honor of being a Texan that is doing something the best that you can. Matthew McConaughey, Texans aint Texans if they arent willing to boast about the state they call home. Anon, The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole world. Get ready for your Birthday prank today as well. Im madder than a wet hen! - Unknown. -Lindsay McElwee, Texaswas evidently the only place in the known universe, including Louisiana, that actually got hotter after the sun went down. Hey, we're thrilled that you're here! I'm so grateful I get to celebrate your special day with you. TOP 25 BIRTHDAY QUOTES (of 1000) | A-Z Quotes Happy Birthday, my dearest sister. The Texanist: Is My Husbands Devotion to Texas-Branded Foods Crazy? -Sam Houston, Im from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because theres no one in control. You don't know the Lone Star State until you've experienced Gruene Hall. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Buzzard bait.He gave up his guitar for a harp.He ate a bitter pill. 15 More Hilarious Texas Memes to Keep You Laughing - Wide Open Country I will never be able to forget the support that you have given me. Here are some of our favorite Texas quotes, Texas Instagram captions, and Lone Star sayings to make you fall deeper in love with Texas! I wouldnt trust him any farther than I could throw him. 23 Best Texas Quotes To Fill You With Pride | Kidadl When: March 4-5. Many Baby Boomers acknowledge their 50 th . 200+ Birthday Quotes By WishesQuotes thats the Texas spirit! Check out my Balkan Travel Blog + Oklahoma Travel Blog, 50 Stunning Hawaii Quotes & Hawaii Instagram Caption Inspiration, 101 Quotes about Los Angeles & LA Quotes that Make Perfect LA Instagram Captions, 50 Inspirational Kansas Quotes for Kansas Instagram Captions & Statuses, 101 Gorgeous Quotes About California & Fabulous California Instagram Captions, 250 Inspirational Travel Quotes & Travel Instagram Captions, 101 Fabulous Quotes about New York & New York Instagram Captions, 30 Beautiful Chicago Quotes & Chicago Instagram Caption Inspiration, 13 Inspirational Colorado Quotes & Colorado Instagram Inspiration, The Best Texas Quotes & Texas Instagram Captions. Shes itching for something she wont scratch for. for dreaming for something too big! -Ninfa Laurenzo, I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. Rich, poor, Panhandle, Gulf, city, country, Texas is the obsession, the proper study, and the passionate possession of all Texans. John Steinbeck, Theres a freedom you begin to feel the closer you get to Austin, Texas. Willie Nelson, During the cold war, West Berlin was an exclave a tiny outpost of liberalism surrounded by people who wanted to crush it. 10. 1. In tall cotton.Running with the big dogs.He didnt come to town two to a mule.Shes got more than she can say grace over.So rich they can eat fried chicken all week long.Rich enough to eat her laying hens. You mean the world to me, on your birthday and every day. #1. A day that's filled with happiness. Yippee your birthday is finally here. Wishing you a birthday as wonderful as you are. I wish everyone the world over had the dominating spirit that motivates Texans." - Billy Clayton Quotes About Texans 21 Texas birthday greetings ideas | birthday greetings, birthday, greetings Texas is an obsession. - By Steven Wright. 50+ Famous Happy Birthday Quotes From Notable Personalities Two tips on your birthday: 1) Forget the past, you can't change it. It was like Austin, Texas. Craig Ferguson, Texas is neither southern nor western. -Janine Turner, Texas is a state of mind. In Texas, if you concentrate and work at it steadily, you can traverse your territory by about age thirty-seven. I have been a paying customer ofWorld Nomadsfor travel insurance for three years, and I happily recommend them. "Inside every older person is a younger personwondering what the hell happened.". 150 Birthday Quotes 1. "Her favorite dress is her favorite blue jeans.". 190 Happy Birthday Wishes for Friends, Family, and Everyone In Between 3. He told them that for the past 50 years he had sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning. Happy 70th Birthday! Matthew McConaughey and his wife, Camila Alves, stepped out at his annual Mack, Jack & McConaughey Gala alongside their son Levi. What do they tell us about America? Dont mess with Texas. Texas Department of Transportation slogan for a campaign to reduce littering on Texas roadways. All of us are joining in to say, that may the year which your birthday begins, brings all the special things, that mean the most to you. In Texas, folks aren't just richlocals say they didn't come to town two to a mule. They took a great failure and turned it into a tourist destination that makes them millions. I'd be part of Texas folklore. His breaths so strong you could hang out the washing on it.That coffees so strong itll put hair on your chest.Coffee so strong itll walk into your cup.Coffee so strong itll raise a blood blister on a boot.Hes so strong he makes Samson look sensitive. I wish everyone the world over had the dominating spirit that motivates Texans. Billy Clayton. They hung the wrong horse thief. -Stephen F. Austin, I must say as to what I have seen of Texas, it is the garden spot of the world. 100 Getting Older Birthday Quotes for Yourself and Loved Ones Nows Your Chance. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." Check out these belated birthday wishes if you're looking to make it up to your friend whose. Discover and share Texas Birthday Quotes. No membership required. In three days, no one could stand him. Joseph Heller, I felt a little guilty about jangling the poor buggers brains with that evil fantasy. Alexander McCall Smith, Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. What to make of a state that is so focused on itself? Anybody got a room? Keith Richards, You dont just move into Texas. Dream to touch the skies. May your birthday overflow with downy teddy bears, the comfiest blankets and the loveliest cake ever. 60th Birthday Quotes and Sayings Worth Celebrating So rich they can eat fried chicken all week long. yes, fried chicken is where all the moolahs at! Texas Birthday Quotes. QuotesGram May your birthday bring you good luck to last for the whole year. His breaths so strong you could hang out the washing on it. Its better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.Thats close enough for government work.Might as well. And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. He hangs out more often than Mamas washing.Hes like a blisterhe doesnt show up till the works all done. Wishing a happy birthday to my beautiful wife, who never ceases to make each day the greatest! Hell eat anything that dont eat him first pretty self-explanatory! Texas yesterday is unbelievable, but no more incredible than Texas today. For all the smiles you put on my face and the people around. When you've been there and done that, this is the Texas saying you'd use. 1. Shy as a mail-order bride.Shy as a crocus.Shy as sapphires. - Funny Birthday wishes. Hotter than a honeymoon hotel yeah, its hot! 2) Forget the present, I didn't get you one. Curtis Jackson, aka 50 Cent Funny Birthday Quotes. Birthday Quotes PNG Transparent Images Free Download | Vector Files He can strut sitting down.Hes all hat and no cattle.Shes all gurgle and no guts.He chamber-of-commerced it. The 105 My Birthday Quotes - WishesGreeting Funny Birthday Cake Quotes. Happy birthday! George Meredith on counting your years. Y'all. 2. I know that you'll attain more this year dear. So dry the catfish are carrying canteens. "Birthdays are good for you. READ MORE. "You Can Imagine Me as a Kid Growing up in Redneck Texas with Ballet Shoes, Tucking the Violin under My Arm. John Lennon 2. Individually they may be pretty, but put together, they can stop traffic. Cathy Bonner, Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than any other section of America. Here's to another year of pretending we have our lives together. Brave as the first man who ate an oyster.Brave as a bigamist.Brave enough to eat in a boomtown cafe.Hes double-backboned.Hes got more guts than you could hang on a fence.Hed shoot craps with the devil himself.Shed charge hell with a bucket of ice water. ". -Ninfa Laurenzo. Always drink upstream from the herd. Above all, Texas is a nation in every sense of the word. 90+ Happy Birthday Quotes and Wishes for Friends | LoveToKnow This significance of this day is beyond just your birthday. -Carl Sandburg, Texas is like a beckoning star to American settlers. Happy 60th Birthday. 70 sounds old, but when I look at you, I still see a lot of youth in you. Hissy fit. -Rosemary Kent, At the risk of descending to unscientific generalizations, 90 percent of Texans give the other 10 percent a bad name. Top Nashville Sayings for Instagram. Texas has various symbols such as the Bluebonnet (state flower), the Northern Mockingbird (state bird), and the horned lizard (state reptile). He may not be a chicken, but he has his henhouse ways. In my district back in Texas, significant because we have a big solar panel production plant in Keller, Texas, we have a wind turbine plant in Gainesville, Texas, up in Cook Country. -James Michener, For a few precious moments Im back in Old Texas, under a high sky, where all things are again possible and the wind blows free. This is hog-killing weather.Theres only a strand of barbed wire between here and there, and its down (after a blizzard).Cold as a well-diggers knee.Cold as a frosted frog.Cold as an ex-wifes heart.Cold as a cast-iron commode.Cold as a bankers heart.Cold as hell with the furnace out. 4. Happy Birthday, Texas: How well do you know the state? 125 Best Texas Quotes and Texas Instagram Captions 2023 71 Best Texas Sayings and Quotes for Proud Texans Handy as sliced bread.Handy as shirt pockets.Handy as a latch on the outhouse door. As welcome as a porcupine at a nudist colony. - By Sammy Hagar. Happy birthday to a person who is smart, good looking, and funny and reminds me a lot of myself. May your smile get brighter with each passing year. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Down the road a piece.A fur piece.Turn left past yonder.I wont say its far, but I had to grease the wagon twice before I hit the main road.Two hoots and a holler away. It ought to do so, for no country upon the globe can compare with it in natural advantages. Texans dont bury their failures. Famous Birthday Quote William Butler Yeats: "From our birthday, until we die, / Is but the winking of an eye." Plato: "Old age: A great sense of calm and freedom. Here are some fun quotes about Texas, yall! - Jim Gaffigan. She is a strong Vanguard worth E2ing eventually for the gameplay gains as well. Anything that large and inspiring is bound to have a few haters, right? He gave me the wire-brush treatment.I got sandpapered.Ill snatch you bald-headed.Ill whip you like a redheaded stepchild.Ill knock you plumb into next week.He got his tail feathers trimmed. As welcome as an egg-sucking dog unwelcome. After all, by the time they've turned 60, most people can take a good senior joke or two. You don't want to mess with a Texan who's throwing a hissy fit. "Don't just count your years, make your years count.". Home Texas 71 Best Texas Sayings and Quotes for Proud Texans. George Meredith. Hot will cool if greedy will let it.Take a tater and wait.Dont get your panties in a wad.Wash off your war paint. This one's famous, y'all. 150 Birthday Quotes and Sayings | Keep Inspiring Me - George Burns's funny birthday quote. Need Texas sayings about girls from Texas? So whether youre looking for travel inspiration or Texas Instagram captions or Facebook statuses, here are my favorite Texas quotes! A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Funny Quotes on Birthday. Birthdays are a great time to reflect on the past year and set goals for the year to come, they are also a time to celebrate and be thankful for a new year of possibilities and chances and show our loved ones how much we love and care for them. 130 Birthday Quotes To Make Someones Special Day - wow4u Like trying to bag flies.Like putting socks on a rooster.Easy as pissing up a rope. They don't treat beatniks too good in Texas. Apocalypse Sow: Can Anything Stop the Feral Hog Invasion? Emily McCullar is a senior editor covering pop culture, news, and Texas history. Today is the most important day of my life. He could talk the legs off a chair. Sam Houston. Congratulations on surviving another year on this planet. Comedian Jim Gaffigan's funny birthday quote is the ideal way to wish a loved one a happy birthday. See more ideas about birthday greetings, birthday, greetings. May your birthday be as sweet as you are. Look what the cat dragged in.Companys coming; add a cup of water to the soup.Weve howdied but we havent shook.Put on your sitting britches.Lets chaw the rag. 10 Texas Sayings That Are Quintessentially Texan Got a big hole in the fence. Texas is a place that has provided inspiration to everyone from musicians, artists, singers, painters, and dancers to elites in science, technology, and politics. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut. David Courtney, a.k.a. Lauren Larson is a former features writer and editor. I hope this year's aliens are friendlier. -John Steinbeck, Dont mess with Texas. when youre very mad. "In Texas, there is a certain honor of being a Texan that is doing something the best that you can." - Matthew McConaughey. Texas girlsare tough as nails and you'd be hard pressed to ever shake them with adversity. I Wish you a very Happy Birthday. -Travels with Charley, If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell. (Snored. Here are 30 famous birthday quotes for your friends and loved ones: Live long and prosper. But what the hell? Here go some of our favorite Texas sayings. -Willie Nelson, There is a growing feeling that perhaps Texas is really another country, a place where the skies, the disasters, the diamonds, the politicians, the women, the fortunes, the football players, and the murders are all bigger than anywhere else. It is time to party! Looking for beautiful quotes about Texas? There is a world of country to settle. Im a little obsessed with travel quotes. 101 Best Birthday Quotes and Messages - Petal Republic The 15 Famous Texas Quotes You'll Remember Forever Indeed, it's the friendliest way to say "Happy Birthday.". Happy Birthday. Today will be another one of those happy, beautiful, fun, and funny nights because we will celebrate the birthday of one of the best people that exists. As dark as the inside of a wolf.Dark as coffin air.Dark as a pocket.Dark as a cow.Dark as a blue norther.Dark as the devils riding boots.Dark as truck-stop coffee. Wayne Chirisa. She is part of the Holy Trinity of Trading Post Maximization: Exusiai, Texas, and Lappland. Funny Birthday Quotes: 125 Funny Birthday Sayings for 2023 Happy Birthday To Me Quotes. "I choose Nashville.". We also want to be the first people to greet you a Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday, my sugar lumps! 1. 900+ Texas Clip Art | Royalty Free - GoGraph He was wrong about horses, for most horses are considered to be valuable, and are treated very well. -Pat Green, You dont just move to Texas. Hope your year is better than those ears! Now on to the dark side you will also find several Texas quotes mocking the state and its icons. Noisy as two skeletons dancing on a tin roof.Noisy as a restless mule in a tin barn.Noisier than cats making kittens.Noisier than a cornhusk mattress.Louder than Grandpas Sunday tie.He called his hogs all night. "The way I see it, you should live every day like it's your birthday." Paris Hilton "A birth-date is a reminder to celebrate the life as well as to update the life." Amit Kalantri "Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come." Lucy Larcom "Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed." Put candles in a pie, and somebody's drunk in the kitchen." - Jim Gaffigan, comedian "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. How much we love you so. -Ann Richards, Havin fun while freedom fightin must be one of those lunatic Texas traits we get from the water which is known to have lithium in it because it goes all the way back to Sam Houston, surely the most lovable, the most human, and the funniest of all the great men this country has ever produced.